20 Principals in using the Dale Carnegie Human Relationship course for managing construction projects

How I learned to manage Construction Projects for my 40 years in the construction industry. 

Dale Carnegie Human Relationship Course

For me, this started back in the 80s after I graduated in Civil Engineering from Penn State University. Right out of college, I was involved in overseeing the building of a $5 million Manufacturing Plant in Texas. 

The project was built on 35 acres with several buildings. So immediately I was interacting with various professional people that were involved in the project. Site Excavation Superintendents, Foundation, electrical, and Plumbing superintendents, along with the Architect and the Engineers for the project. And also, the Owner.

So, I had to become an immediate leader for the project leading the various groups through the project until it was completed. On any one day, I may have to interact with between half a dozen to a dozen professional people about the project. My engineering degree dealt little with becoming a persuasive, influential leader so I looked to further my education and I took the Dale Carnegie base course, Effective Communications and Human Relationships.

 At that time in the 80's it cost $500, now I believe it is around $2000. The course is well worth it. Warren Buffet, the billionaire investor says that this course was the greatest instructional course that he ever had and it influenced his approach and his continual success in his business.

 I recommend this course for the construction industry as a Project Manager, superintendent, or Construction Executive in which you are in a position of leading professional people. 

The setting of the course is there are about 30-40 people in the class, and you meet at night once a week for 8 weeks. You split up into groups of 6-8 people and you work within your group during each week.

The main book reference is Dale Carnegie's "How to Win Friends and Influence People." 

There are pamphlets that you work off of and the instructors go through a couple of the chapters at each session. Then in your group setting you participate in workshop demonstrations between your fellow compatriots.

 At the end of each session, each participant goes before the entire class and gives a 2–5-minute speech. Your speeches are about yourself and whatever you are comfortable discussing. They make it easy as they teach you to tell a story about something that you did and that you are speaking to a close friend. Everyone is a little nervous at the first couple of speeches, however, you learn to feel comfortable in front of an audience.

 The course teaches you confidence in front of a crowd with the public speaking and human relationships skills that you can lead people by inspiring and influencing. 

As I stated the basis of the course is structured around Dale Carnegie's Book, "How to Win Friends and Influence People" The book was published in 1936 and it remains a mainstay in the self-help genre by selling over 30 million copies worldwide and over 200,000 yearly. The book's outline is summarized in three areas. 

1) Fundamental Techniques in Handling People", 

2) "Twelve Ways to Win People to Your Way of Thinking",

3) "Be a Leader: How to Change People Without Giving Offense or Arousing Resentment". 

I had a copy but somehow, I lost it and I recently reread the book through the free public library by downloading it onto my Kindle app of my iPhone. I like to take notes of informational books that I've read so I have them here. 

Now the book and the course outline particular Principles that they want you to learn. As I stated, you go through each chapter and learn about these principles and you act them out in your group settings. I'll go through a few of the principles by reviewing my notes. 

The first principle that they teach you in Human relations is not to Criticize, Condemn, or complain. 

Principle # 1

Criticism is futile because it puts a person on the defensive and usually makes him strive to justify himself.

He puts a Benjamin Franklin Quote in; "I will speak ill of no man, and speak all the good I know of everyone. Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain and most fools do. Instead of complaining to people, let's try to understand them. Let's try to figure out why they do what they do. That's a lot more profitable and intriguing than criticism, and it breeds sympathy, tolerance, and kindness."

Principle #2 

Give honest and sincere appreciation, hearty in my approbation and lavish in my praise. 

A quote from Charles Schwab, who worked for Andrew Carnegie's Steel mill in Pittsburgh during the Industrial Revolution of the 19th and 20th centuries. "I have yet to find the person, however great or exalted his station, who did not do better work and put forth greater effort under a spirit of approval than he would ever do under a spirit of criticism."

Principle #3

Arouse in the other person an eager want, look at the other person's point of view and arouse in him or her an eager want and cause a negotiated agreement. 

A Henry Ford Quote: "If there is any secret of success, it lies in the ability to get the other person's point of view and see things from that person's angle as well as from your own." Each party should gain from the negotiation.

Principle #4 

Become genuinely interested in other people. 

You can win the attention, time, and cooperation of even the most sought-after people by becoming genuinely interested in them. 

Principle # 5

Smile 

Action speaks louder than words. And a smile says, "I like you." "You make me feel happy. I am glad to see you." Your smile is a messenger of your goodwill. Your smile brightens the lives of all who see it. It costs nothing but creates much. It enriches those who receive it, without impoverishing those who give it. It happens in a flash and the memory of it lasts forever. 

Principle # 6

Remember a person's name. 

Remember that a person's name is that person's sweetest and most important sound in any language.

Principle # 7

Be a good listener and encourage others to talk about themselves.

If you aspire to be a good conversationalist, be an attentive listener. To be interesting, be interested. Ask questions that other people will enjoy answering. Encourage them to talk about themselves and their accomplishments. 

Principal # 8

Talk in terms of the other person's interest. 

There is one important law of human contact. Always make the other person feel important. A sure way to their hearts is to let them realize in some subtle way that you recognize their importance and recognize it sincerely. 

Principle # 9 The only way to get the best out of an argument is to avoid it

 Welcome the disagreement, listen first, and build bridges of understanding. Buddha Quote: "Hatred is never ended by hatred but by love, and a misunderstanding is never ended by argument but by tact, diplomacy, conciliation and a sympathetic desire to see the other person's viewpoint."

Principal # 10

Show respect for the other person's opinion. 

Never say "You're wrong." You will never get into trouble by admitting that you may be wrong. That will stop all arguments and inspire your opponent to be just as fair open and broadminded as you are. It will make him or her want to admit that he too, may be wrong. 

Principal # 11 

Begin in a friendly way. 

It is an old and true maxim that Abraham Lincoln said, "A drop of honey catches more flies than a gallon of gall."

Aesop the Greek slave, 26 centuries ago in Athens said; The sun can make you take off your coat more quickly than the wind, and kindliness, the friendly approach, and appreciation can make people change their minds more readily than all the blister and storming in the world."

So, with people, if you would win a person to your case, first convince them that you are their sincere friend. There is a drop of honey that catches their heart, which says that you will, is the greatest road to reason. 

Principle # 12 

Get the other person to say "yes", "yes" immediately. 

In talking with people, don't begin by discussing the things on which you differ. Begin by emphasizing the things that you agree on. Keep emphasizing that you are both striving for the same end and that your only difference is one of method and not purpose. 

Principle # 13 Let the other person talk themselves out. 

Listen patiently and with an open mind. Plant an idea into his mind casually, but to interest them to it, to get them thinking about it on their account. 

Principle #14 

Try honestly to see things from the other person's point of view. 

Success in dealing with people depends on a sympathetic grasp of the other person's viewpoint. Cooperativeness in conversation is achieved when you show that you consider the other person's ideas and feelings as important as your own. Think always in terms of the other person's point of view and see things from that person's angle as well as your own. 

Principle # 15 Throw down a challenge. 

The work itself must be exciting and interesting, so the worker looked forward to doing it and was motivated to do a good job. It is a chance for them to prove his or her worth, to excel, to win.

Principle # 16

Talk about your own mistakes before criticizing the other person. 

Rightfully used, humility and praising others will work veritable miracles in Human relations. Admitting one's mistakes, even when no one has corrected them, can help convince somebody to change their behavior.

Principle # 17 

Ask questions instead of giving orders.

People are more likely to accept an order if they have had a part in the decision that caused the order to be issued. 

Principle # 18 

Let the other person save face. 

A few minutes of a considerate word or two, and a genuine understanding of the other person's attitude, would go a long way in alleviating the sting of the problem. 

French Aviation Pioneer and author, Antoine de Saint-Expery wrote; "I have no right to say or do anything that diminishes a man in his own eyes what matters if not what I think of him, but what he thinks of himself, hurting a man in his dignity is a crime. 

Principle# 19 

Praise the slightest improvement and praise every improvement.

Be hearty in your approbation and lavish in your praise. Praise inspires the other person to keep improving.

B.F. Skinner, the renowned American Psychologist wrote, "Praise is like sunlight to the warm human spirit; we cannot flower and grow without it.; And yet, while most of us are only too ready to apply to others the cold wind of criticism, we are somehow reluctant to give our fellow man the warm sunshine of praise." He showed by experiments with animals and with humans that when criticism is minimized and praise emphasized, the good things people do will be reinforced and the poorer things will atrophy for lack of attention. 

Principle # 20 

Use encouragement. 

Make the fault seem easy to correct. Be liberal with your encouragement. Make the thing seem easy to do. Let the other person know that you have faith in their ability to do it. 

Give them confidence and inspire them with courage and faith. 

The Dale Carnegie Course By constant practice, you develop courage, confidence, and enthusiasm that carries over into your development in your business world. 

Helps with. 

 --- Leadership 

 --- Sales 

 --- Customer service 

 --- Presentations 

 --- Team member engagements

 Henry Ford Quote; "You can hardly have too much harmony in business. The only harmonious organization that is worth anything is an organization in which all the members are bent on the main purpose, to get along toward the objective. A common purpose, honestly believed in, sincerely desired, that is the great harmonious principle." 

Henry J. Heinz Founder of Heinz Ketchup Men's errors and even transgressions were dealt with in a spirit of friendship and mutual regard. Every individual knew that he could afford to admit a mistake, as there was no damage of humiliating rebuke.

Shettig Construction Management provides Professional Construction Management services from the inception of your project through completion. www.shettig.com

Shettig Construction Management 

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